Hello Dolly
by musketau
Summary: Drusilla wants to play.Spike really is having a bad time


Title: Hello Dolly

Author: musketau  
Summary: Spike really is having a bad time  
Pairings: None  
Rating: I'll say PG, i think.  
Crossover: None  
Disclaimer: All characters are property of Mutant Enemy and whoever  
else wants to lay claim to them. It's not mine, honest.  
Feedback: Oh, please!

Authors note: Not Xander centric, Although I think you'll like it

Hello Dolly

By Musketau

Dru has been revitalised by Angel, Spike is in a wheelchair. Angelus has not been released.

Spike rolled the wheelchair through the crypt. His spine had been broken seriously when the slayer had collapsed a church organ on top of him. If it hadn't been for his Dru pulling him out of the burning wreckage he'd be dust.

So he was very thankful to Dru for saving him, but there were limits. This was why Spike was doing his level best to keep away from Dru. What she wanted to do, what she wanted to do with him! Went beyond gratitude into the realms of cruel and unusual punishment.

Now punishment and torture were something Spike normally loved, after all the name Spike had been earned through his love of torture, but even he would shudder and turn away at seeing anyone being forced to experience what Dru wanted to do.

He had to get away.

If only he could get out of the crypt. He could drag himself up the steps, but it was humiliating to be forced to drag himself around. The other vampires wouldn't help. The newbies followed Dru now; she was the strongest vampire, so they wouldn't help him. Hell, they looked down on him. On Him! Just because he couldn't walk or hunt for himself anymore. They had started treating him like a child, the way Dru did. Even ripping the limbs off that one vampire before slowly pulling off his head didn't help.

Spike slowly moved through the crypt, keeping to the outlying rooms. If he could keep away from Dru for a little while longer, her scrambled brains would move onto another track and he'd be safe.

"There you are, Dolly."

OH S#!+

"Why have you been hiding from your mummy?" Dru stood in the doorway behind him, hands on hips, looking just like an upset mother.

"Just wanted to 'ave a look around, Luv." He tried, hoping it would work.

"You've been hiding from Mummy, haven't you."

There were days Spike wished she wasn't a seer. Or insane. And this was definitely one of those days. "Of course not. You know I wouldn't hide from you."

Dru seemed to consider that, "Unless we were playing hide and seek."

"That's right, luv. How about we play hide and seek now?" Maybe he could get out of it. Two vampires were standing behind Dru. Hide and seek was better than _that._

"No no no. We can't play hide and seek now. We have to finish the last game." Oh no. Spike gave in. He just hoped no one else would be able to see.

Dru moved behind Spike and started pushing him towards their rooms. "We'll have so much fun. The moon and the stars will shine with joy, and we can bathe in blood."

"That last bit sounds good, but do we have to-"

"Hush," Dru interrupted, "It's time for tea."

Dru pushed Spike into their rooms and there they were. A table was set up in the middle of the room. A silver tea set was waiting, steam escaping the teapot. All the chairs were full except for two opposite each other. The occupants of the chairs were unmoving, beady eyes staring into infinity.

"Don't worry, Miss Edith, ladies." Glancing at the other dolls set up around the table, "I've found our missing dolly. Now we've just got to get her dressed properly."

Get HER dressed for the part. Spike's worry escalated to full-blown panic. Dru pushed Spike past the table towards the sarcophagus in the corner. It looked very different to that morning. Across the top was a thick blanket with a plastic sheet over it. Next to the coffin was a plastic bag full of things that had obviously been stolen in the last day or so. Hanging up next to the coffin, wrapped in plastic, was a _dress!_ Not only did Dru want him playing tea parties, but she was going to play dress-ups.

Spike gripped the wheels of his chair, but Dru kept pushing, sliding the chair across the floor. Reaching the coffin, Dru picked up Spike and laid him on the blanket. Despite his best efforts Spike found himself stripped and lying on the blanket.

Dru picked up the plastic bag and pulled a few things out. Some kind of powder, body wipes, and _NAPPIES!_ Spike suddenly realised he was lying on a change table, and Dru had decided it was time to change her baby before playing tea parties with her dollies. Oh Hell no.

But there was no stopping it.

10 minutes later, a pissed-off vampire was sitting at the table. He was wearing an adult diaper, a yellow sun dress with small white polka-dots, and a bonnet. Worst of all, the doors were filled with vampires who couldn't stop laughing. Some were laughing so hard tears of blood ran down their cheeks as they lay on the floor. Some of them had cameras.

Finally, the horror was over. Dru had called for two laughing vampires to come in and clear the table while she put her dollies away. Spike was last, and as Dru put her in his wheelchair he could only hope she'd help him change back into his own clothes.

"Let's go for a walk. I want to show off my new dolly to the Slayer."

All through the cemetery, vampires and demons stopped what they were doing to look towards the heart-rending scream coming from the crypt. At least, those who weren't laughing at the pictures they had been given of the great Spike having a tea party (they'd made sure Dru wasn't in the photos). The web site would be set up within a day or so.

Entering the cemetery, Buffy turned to Willow and Xander. "Let's go check it out. I want to see what caused that scream."


End file.
